My journey to STARDOM..

This is what I had written down in my diary on 10 January 2007, when I left Chennai (not for the first time) for the future that was waiting for me in Mumbai. I was recruited by an MNC from my campus in Pune, a month before that. I was excited to start a new life. This life I had anticipated and which taught me several lessons of life is soon coming to an end. I resigned this week and next week I will be saying goodbye to this company. I am taking a break-for personal reasons and will be staying with my parents.

This is a decision I had made after putting in a lot of thought into it, but this has proved to be more difficult than i thought -Feeling vulnerable is the least I can say.

It is not just the inequation (positive outflows and zero inflows) that bothers me, but also the independence that comes with it. I realised most of us end up in jobs we never liked to do and are scared to chase our dreams just because of this inequation-mostly, howmuchever we refuse to accept the fact.

On the positive side I am looking forward to doing things I have always wanted to. I am outside the comfort zone now. My mind is currently clutter-free. No more office politics, appraisals, targets, numbers, presentations, trainings.. My life will be free from meaningless numbers that made sense to no one -neither the ones that came up with them nor the ones running after them. I will have the time to figure out what I want to do with my life, which is just not a job that can get me the moolah.

But what happens to my independence? Have I lost it or gained it? I am yet to figure that out. Shall update when I do. :D

But I believe the journey is still on.. ;)

The little slices of death.....

Ever heard of this song in Guru? Most of you would definitely not have missed it, Guru's twin daughters sing it to him while he is lying down in the hospital-paralysed.

I love the lyrics..

jaage hain deer tak hamen kuch deer sone do

thodi se raat aur haisubah to hone do

aadhe adhure khwaab jopure na ho sake

ek baar phir se neend meinwoh khwaab bone do

What more can you expect of a dreamer? :D For as long as I can remember, I have never woken up from sleep and carried on with my day. No, I wasn't the kind that planned the day while in bed. I generally get dreams, and ,most often I remember them. I either think about them or I try completing some of the dreams I felt were incomplete. I don't how common this is, but I continue this even now. Sometimes I just dream, whether or not I thought about it in my sleep.

This whole sleeping process amazes me. I have understood how its works recently. No I am not talking about REM and alpha waves and the various stages of sleep. :D

Its nature's way of telling you to rest, to let go, to take a break, asking you to stop from pushing yourself beyond your limits. Good food and a deep sleep are considered to be the prescription for a healthy life and beauty.Its a natural painkiller, a stress reliever and helps cure m,any a disease.

I have also read somewhere, don't remember the exact words though-"Sleep now, you shall figure it out when you wake up". How true!! Most problems can be solved if you give it time- what's better than giving your system a break by going off to sleep. Its like charging your mobile every night. You wake up all charged up ready to face the world. Sleep is like a lover-takes away your problems from you, nourishes you, never leaves you, gives you the much required shoulder to lean on...

Why am I talking about sleep now? Because I have realised what it is not to get 7 hours of peaceful sleep every night!!! :D YES, I AM AN INSOMNIAC!!!! I have learnt many a thing during those nights while I toss and turn trying to fall asleep. :D I sometimes have had to take a day off because I couldn't sleep the previous night. And once I could get a few winks only after I calling in sick at office at 9 in the morning. :D (Well-what would I say, "I did not sleep?". My manager did not understand me when I said that to him once. :D)

They say you never know what you have until its gone. I knew what THAT felt like during my pangs of Insomnia. I never took it for granted again and has become one of my favourite friends. I spend "quality" time with it as much as possible, which meant going to bed at a decent time. :D. I realised the importance of keeping your body in harmony with nature -wake when the sun rises and sleep when its dark. There are these harmones that get you do that, but a fact most of us blissfully ignore, arguing that all that we need is 7 hours no matter which part of the day. Well it does, I experienced it firsthand while I worked in the graveyard shift a few years ago in a BPO. Going back to being in harmony with nature, this one fact made me realise it has to applied to other things too, eating for example. I have tried avoiding processed foods since then.

Ok, this is getting to be a little too preachy. All of us have interesting incidents related to sleep. I have plenty - I used to talk in my sleep almost everyday, practising speeches and assignments while I was at school. I have once even campaigned for a candidate for school leader while I was asleep. Sometimes, I have done sleep walking too and have become a detective once in one of those sleep walking trips looking for something called "Meecha Box". I looked into every cupboard, every room and every place in the house trying to solve the "mystery" of meecha box. ha! My family looked on with amusement while I set out on my adventure. :D. Blame it on all those those Nancy Drews and Famous fives I used to consume when I was a kid. :D

While all this almost vanished as i grew up, Insomnia caught on.. :D That's when it occurs to me how we take this one great medicine for granted and while I toss and turn in my bed, these words keep ringing in my ears..

"Sleep- How I loathe those little slices of death... "

P.S.: I have always sought the help of my other favourite -coffee, to get through my day when sleep evaded me, but these two favourites of mine never seemed to get along. Let's save talking about this intelligent drink for another day. ;)

No longer a 25-year old

Only technically... That was the whole idea behind this blog - so I can be referred to as "a-25-year-old" forever.. yey...

I can say I am a little wiser now - having gained it on my birthday. It is something everyone knows, but hardly put to use at the right time. I realised what it was to waste time in getting upset and angry over trifling issues. :D

This birthday of mine was sweet- to have entered a whole new year with someone who means a lot.Funnily, this birthday, along with the growing old part, the growing up part also seems to have happened-though not at the same rate. ;) I am glad anyways..

You drive me Crraaazzzzyyyyy...

They are aptly named drivers. I don't really know if they are even allowed to drive their "steed" (yes, they think they ride horses) but they sure consider it their birthright to drive me crazy. I somehow have happened to meet all the wrong kind of auto drivers here. I commute to work by auto everyday; and the amount of mental pressure I am subjected to, only a Bangalorean can understand. The six months that I have been living here, I have met the craziest of auto drivers, with crazy demands. If any of you happen to visit Bangalore and choose to use public transport, better be warned and derive lessons from my experiences.

For starters, the auto drivers here have the habit of asking for the complete address of your destination. According to them, since you chose to take an auto, you are rich. I sometimes don't understand why autos fall under the category "public transport". Further, if you chose to go to those business parks, (like I do) they assume you own it. Once they have arrived at these "conclusions", they decide the methodology to charge you -1)A fixed exorbitant fare 2) an "extra" on the meter reading.

There are others who do not ask for extra -but consider the change theirs. For example, if the meter reads Rs27 and you pay Rs30-he ll shoot ugly glares at you if you wait for the change. The more polished ones will say with a sheepish smile "Madam, no change". Once, i met a greedy guy who tried doing both. He wanted Rs10 extra on the meter-which i agreed to, then at my destination declared he had no change!!

Some of these autowallas have also reminded me of the expanding universe theory. There have been times when the distance to my destination is 5 kms and the next day goes to 7 or more, depending upon the morality of the auto driver. One such driver got carried away so badly that his meter reads 60 after 49. :D
So much for how they charge you.

Let us now get to the way you describe your destination. I stay at Koramangala and the nearest landmark to my residence is "Maharaja restaurant". I was outside a mall and was looking for an auto. He said he would charge Rs30 (he chose charge me a fixed fare). I agreed since that's what it generally comes to (have never agreed to a fixed fare since then). Once he reaches the restaurant, he asks me to get off like he was running a bus service. He doesn't even tune down the loud music that was playing all the while, while talking to me. He refused to take me home and asked for extra money if he had to. I paid him half the fare and said he should have gone by the meter reading. He screams at me that I have no right to talk about the meter (ha!), that its his business and that we "outsiders" do things as we please.

People who know Bangalore would know about the crazy road networks and "one-way"s. Also, you can't find a U-turn before driving for kilometers. Since my office is located at least 1.5 kms from the entrance of the business park AND on the other side of the road, I need to take a U-turn and it adds another 3 kms.(The distance from my home to the business park is only 3 kms :D) So this is what happens when I take an auto every morning.

** Conditions apply here. Their answers and their probabilities are :

Initially I used to stop with Q 2. Q3 was added due to this experience which again stresses on the "you bl*$#y outsiders" point. When I was new,I ignored Q3 and the driver stopped outside the gate and asked me to get down. He swore at me for asking why and seeing a cop standing nearby, reluctantly drove inside the business park. He continued swearing. I could only catch a few words like "you outsiders.." " our place" etc., since I ignored him and was listening to music.

These are my own experiences. There have been times when I have stayed at home thinking of the negotiations and arguments I might have to get into.I have met a few good ones too. I wish there were more like them. :D

I have also heard of worse experiences, where its not only a question of money, but a threat to one's safety as well. Common targets are girls who travel alone.

All I can do is pray that one day, we all wake up to a world of honest, pleasant and more humane autowallahs..

"Into that heaven of freedom my father, let my country awake......."

You are not alone

No.. this not a tribute to Michael Jackson, because he left this world while I was'nt blogging. :D

I just realised I had started writing a blog, and haven't done much with it.It's been six months since I have added something here. When I look back, I realise my life has changed so much the last six months-I dont live in the same city anymore, don't go to teh same office (same compay though), have shifted 4 apartments (:O imagine the amount of packing I had to do). When u think about it, my routine has also changed. We all call it a "habit", but it changes all the time, atleast with me it has.

And here, I am learning a new language, I have made new friends, met the old ones.With so much happening, I shouldn't be complaining. But over the last 3-4 days I ve been talking to people who say they've hit a plateau and want a change (even I feel my life s boring.. but this isn't abt me).

I got thinking about what suddenly happens to all of us- that our once colorful life suddenly becomes all grey. And we all try to improve it consciously,sometimes worrying about it, thinking everybody else is having a gala time and trying to catch up. I arrived at one conclusion after these conversations- WE ARE ALL BORED!! Call it mid-life crises or quarter life crisis or anything else depending on what stage of life you are in. I guess the truth is as children we all had so much to look forward to and we looked forward to the smallest of things. And as we grew up, we lost it somewhere.

Anyways, don't intend to spread any gyan. But u r not alone... in feeling "alone". ;) and YES.. I M BACK and wish to stay....