Intervention to an Egomaniacal friend

Dear IT'S ALL ABOUT ME,


I have to hold an intervention to address an issue you have been having.Let me make a list so you don't forget.

1. The thing that the world goes around is called the SUN, not you.
2. No one is bigger than the system, not even you.
3. The system is not a small shanty in the kingdom you rule and we are not your subjects, so stop treating me as one
4. Now that you know you are no king/queen, stop telling me how I am supposed to communicate to you.
5. Also, modesty is inversely proportional to success. To put it in  a language you will understand. successful people are modest, and the lack of it only creates an impression that you are a failure. So what's with all the air you seem to carry..
6. If you seem to get upset with anything anyone says, even if they were only discussing the weather, it shows you need psychiatric help. 
7. If you don't know how to use your imagination, write a book. Don't be overly imaginative about any casual conversation I have with you. Like when I say, "Can you do this for me?", I don't mean that you are incapable of carrying out a task. See for yourself. Doesn't it look absurd when I write it down?
8. If you are as sensitive as a touch-me-not, lock yourself up in your kingdom. Don't wander in the streets, because what you say, especially when I have done no wrong,  sometimes gets to me too.

To summarize, stop being such a pain and  do yourself a favor. Go get some help!

And by the way, I have a nickname for you: I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE.